is fear my idol?

"The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much." 

[John Calvin]

Currently, I am going through a study with a group of women from Northpointe, called "No Other Gods: Confronting our Modern-Day Idols" by Kelly Minter. We are only a couple of weeks in, but it's been very challenging to work through what idols are in my life, and what drives us to have idols. 

I hope to share with you more, as we go through this study together. I have five minutes before I go to work, but I wanted to jot down some of my thoughts from the latest section that we have covered. We are discussing why we make idols, with fear being one of the reasons. 

I consider fear to be one of my main idols. It really drives most of what I do... But the author had an interesting point... Fear is not something we want in our lives. We have fear because we want something else... safety, security, etc. I need to continue to think this through, but what do you think about that? Is fear the idol that drives you, or is the lack of what you fear that is the idol? 

Either way, I was convicted by the statement she ended with: 

"Know that if God tells us not to fear, He will empower us not to fear."

 God has said to fear not, that He is in control and that He will fight over me. If I fear, I am disobeying Him. It's easier said than done, especially with an anxiety disorder, but I will pray for this every day. His Spirit, who lives in me, is one of power, not fear. 

((Breakfast date with the hubs this morning. Grateful.))

Halloween in RI

This past week, Nick and I had the pleasure of handing out candy to families and kids on the Eastside of Providence (where we live). Our home group met up and worked together to put on an awesome event for the neighborhood! Two of the church plants in Rhode Island, Northpointe, and Bridgepointe, decided that the best way to reach people where they are at on Halloween is to be present in our neighborhoods, at our own homes. We met at houses with our home groups, and set up little mini carnivals, if you will.
At ours, we had the following things:
- Two games involving glo-sticks, glowing balls, and extra candy prizes
- Party baggies full of candy, coupons for free food from Wendys and McDonalds, and a reflective slap bracelet with Bridgepointe's info on it
- A huge popcorn maker and hot apple cider
All of this was free for everyone, of course, and we had such a good time meeting people and handing out goodies. Everyone who came by was so thrilled about the popcorn and hot cider, and the kids were literally lined up to the street to play the games.

We had at least 200 kids come through just our little event! Not to mention all the families that were at the events all over Rhode Island. So awesome!

It is so common for people these days to shut off their lights and hide from tick or treaters, or to just go to their church and interact with other believers there. Now, I am not hating on the church festival route, it's what I did my entire life...  However, what an incredible opportunity we have just to love on the people in our neighborhoods! Think of the relationships you might be able to build just by making yourself available to those who already live around you. Get creative, look for opportunities to shine, to be different... instead of hiding away or blending in with what everyone else is doing.

5 months

I fail.

I totally fail at blogging.

It's been 5 months since my last blog post.  Boo. The last time I posted, it was warm. I could go to the beach every weekend, eat frozen lemonade, and walk everywhere with perhaps just a light jacket at night. Now, it's freezing. It gets dark at 4:30. I have to bundle up to go outside. No more beach. :(

Anyway.

I love writing, and I express myself best through written word. But life gets busy, I feel uninspired, or unmotivated...

Well, I can guarantee nothing, but I hope to start writing more over the next few months.

Here is a little list of some blog prompts that I have been challenged to write recently. Hopefully I will get to them.
- Grace... and my lack of it.
- Halloween in New England
- Hurricane Sandy
- Identity
- Explorations and Adventures of the past 5 months
- God vs. gods and my everyday life
- "Where everything is 'Christian,' nothing is 'Christian'." - Soren Kierkegaard.  This quote was used by Shane Claiborne when I saw him recently at Brown... I have had some trouble finding it online but would like to discuss it nonetheless.

How does that sound? I will be back later with some posts! (Hopefully!)

:)

Saturdays

We have a little tradition every Saturday now that it has gotten warm. There is a summer farmer's market down the road from where we live! Tons of local vendors and farmers come out with veggies, plants, pastries and bread, drinks, meat, fish, cheese, and eggs. It's in a big park, and so many people bring their kids and dogs to play. There is also live music, which is pretty cool. We have made it a habit to go every Saturday morning. This past week, we got a zucchini plant for our garden, some dried cranberries infused with pomegranate juice, and some apple butter.  Nick loves the apple butter on his toast, and I just eat it with a spoon.

We have another weekend tradition we hope will take place almost every week: The beach!! We live 30 miles from some pretty stellar beaches. Nick got a surf board for his birthday, which gives him something to do while I lay on the beach! Fun for all! I want to try surfing but I will wait until the water gets warmer.

Also, a mom at my work brought in sunflower seed butter from Trader Joe's yesterday, and it was DELICIOUS!! So you should try it for some non-peanut fun! :)

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made

For our one-year anniversary, we spent a night in New York City! It was such a great little trip! I must confess, I dream of living in NYC. I know a lot of people never want to live there, but I just love the idea of it. It’s so bustling, and I am so fascinated by how life would be.

We hopped on a bus early Thursday morning… We would have gotten on REALLY early, but the bus driver of our original bus just skipped our bus stop and went straight to New York. Thanks, Peter Pan busses. After a three hour bus ride, we ended up in the heart of NYC. It was raining and cold, which was kind of a bummer, but not too terrible. 

 We found our hotel, Park Central, on hotels.com. I did a lot of research to make sure most of the reviews were good, and that the hotel was in a good location. After the bed bug fiasco of 2009, there was NO way I was taking any chances. Fortunately, this hotel was affordable, close to Times Square, and clean!

We got to NYC around lunch, checked into our hotel, and then went to lunch at Carnegie Deli. Honestly, we were not impressed. It was so expensive and not very good. But that is just our opinion. For dinner, we went to Hurley’s Irish Pub and Saloon. It was delicious! Then, we were off to the theater! We saw Wicked on Broadway! A dream come true! I had seen Wicked in Dallas, but Nick had never seen it at all. Gershwin Theater is so lovely, and the show was just incredible. 

The next day, we got up and headed to Central Park. It was drizzly and cold, so there was basically NO one around. We stopped at a French café in the park and got some hot chocolate because I was so cold I thought I would pass out. Then we walked over to West Elm, Urban Outfitters, Bloomingdales, and then Serendipity for some nachos and frozen hot chocolate. I loved exploring all the different parts of Manhattan. 

 After Serendipity, we had our first subway experience! I have to admit, I was pretty terrified but also very excited. I feel like television makes the subway look so nasty, and going underground just is not ideal for me. But we went in at a station that was actually pretty nice, and was playing music. I was pleasantly surprised! We rode the subway to Ground Zero and saw the new World Trade Center. We couldn’t go in, but were able to see the building. Then, we walked to the water and took the Staten Island Ferry to see the Statue of Liberty from the water. Ferries are another thing I do not like… Totally freaks me out. To express my feelings, consider the Friends episode when Ross is like, “A FERRY!? My baby is going on a FERRY? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!” “Are we talking about those big boats that carry cars and go like five miles an hour?”  Anyway, the ferry was a lovely experience. It was so big, and even had a little coffee shop/concession stand on it. After a couple ferry rides, we walked to the Brooklyn Bridge… We didn’t walk all the way across, just about half way. It’s so gorgeous!

We walked through Chinatown and by the government area. I recognize the building that Dev on Smash works in! We walked by it! Then, we took the subway back to Times Square. We visited the Disney store and XXI. Then, packed up our stuff and headed back to the bus station. But we had to fulfill a final dream before leaving town. We got hotdogs from a street vendor!! It was so exciting! Nick was actually shocked that I wanted to do it… Really, I was too. They are kind of nasty if you think about it. But so New York! I felt like a local.

That was our getaway in the Big Apple. I loved it so much, and can’t wait to go back, hopefully this summer! Living three hours away is pretty awesome.

Currently...

I am currently:

reading:

Generous Justice by Timothy Keller

If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name by Heather Lende

It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

listening to: 

Of Monsters and Men

Sutre

Gotye

Fun.

making:

Something for my hubby!

A garden

recording on tv:

Gilmore Girls

Smash

Glee

excited about:

Waterfire starting this weekend!

Having people over for a Memorial Day weekend cookout.

Going to the beach whenever I want this summer!
Planting the flowers and veggies in our garden!

praying for: 

The new Women's Group starting up next week

 To find peace and clarity in my role in Rhode Island

For my babies at work

For the new friends in our community group

A little recap.

Hi... so it's been almost six months since I've posted... You all must be thinking, "You move to one of the most interesting places in the US, and then stop sharing?!" Well, there is a lot to do here! :) Actually I spend more time writing newsletters for Sojourn, so if you don't get those, and want to, let me know.

Man, six months. Well, let's just say a lot has happened. I got a new job. We moved. My mom came to visit. It's not cold anymore... But it's the end of May and I'm still wearing a jacket in the mornings.

We are absolutely loving where we live right now. Seriously. I don't know if I will be able to live anywhere else. We are walking distance from a billion local food places, multiple coffee shops, bike routes, Urban Outfitters, a gorgeous college campus (Brown)... And we live on the Bay. It's pretty lovely.

We have started a new home group at Northpointe close to our home. We are excited to see how God moves on the East Side.

We visited New York City for an evening for our one year anniversary, and spent a day at Cape Cod! Can't wait to go again!

My new job is amazing! I am the lead teacher for the Yearlings, aka 15 months to 2 year olds. They are pretty cute, and I get to come up with art projects and read them books all day. I can't wait to watch these babies grow up!

Here are some of my favorite instagram pics from the past 6 months. Visit our ministry blog for more.

A Year of Change

Happy New Year from Rhode Island! Can you tell we've been busy? We haven't posted in months! Since 2012 is almost upon us, here is a recap of this past year. It was definitely a big one.

Life Changes:

- We got married on January 8th!

- In May, Nick graduated from MST. Hooray!

- In June, Nick was offered a job planting a campus ministry in Providence, RI.

- In November,  got my first full time job as a residential caseworker! 

Dwelling Places:

- At the beginning of the year, I lived in Texas, and Nick lived in Missouri.

- On January 8th, I moved to Rolla, Missouri, to live with my new husband!

- During the summer, Nick and I lived in Kansas City, Arlington, and Plano with family.

- In October, we moved to North Providence, Rhode Island! It was one of the scariest, most exciting things I have ever done. But we love it here and have made so many lovely friends. 

Travels and Explorations:

- Early in the year, we visited Chicago for the first time. It was snowing, but still awesome!

- In March, we visited Disney World and Harry Potter World!

- In June, we took a road trip up to Providence. We visited Little Rock, Nashville, Washington DC, New York City, Providence, Boston, Niagara Falls, and Indianapolis during the trip.

- In August, we visited Denver for a few days, and then camped in Yellowstone with my Dad and brothers for a week.

This year has been absolutely amazing. I am so glad we traveled while we had the chance. This next year will be spent exploring New England and getting used to life in the Northeast. Please come visit!

Happy 2012, everyone!