Sunday, December 29, 2013

finding time

I used to have all this time. Time to read. Time to play guitar. Time to write.  Then I started working 50plus hours a week. So my time got divided into two lists: "Things I have to do" and "things I want to do".
Unfortunately, sometimes even things I should do, like spend time with Jesus, work out, walk the dog, get pushed out the way in an effort to balance the have to list and my so called sanity. Never mind the fact that those things will bring me the best rest and peace! 
Anyway, I'm trying to make some changes. My friends and I started a book club, which was one of those "maybe someday" things, until we decided, "never mind someday, let's do it now!" So now we are reading The Happiness Project. I'm not too far in, but I love the author's approach. She admits that she IS happy. She likes her life, her family, her job. But there are those things on that to do list that are keeping her from being HAPPIER. Those things that she would do someday when she has time. The things she would do if she could, if resources allowed it. One day she had an epiphany and realized that time is wasting away and she doesn't want to WAIT to do those things anymore. Thus begins her happiness project. 

Well, friends, I have a list like that too. A "what I'd really love to do if I had time" list. A "what I would do if resources weren't an option" list. A "what I would do if I wasn't afraid to try" list. And now, I'm going to share that list with you. 

What I would do weekly if I had more time:
- Practice guitar: I'd love to get good enough to be able to play for my kids at work or even for my preschoolers at BridgePointe! I've taken classes in college and struggled over YouTube videos but have not been able to stick with it to really get good. 

- Read often: this is something I've already been working on. I used to read all the time! Now I am trying to figure out when I can squeeze this in, because I think reading is a very important part of stimulating creativity, learning, and growth. Right now it's mainly nap time(when I'm not lesson planning) and bed time(when I'm not falling asleep). 

- Write/blog: I used to blog all the time. College, man. Why did I think I was so busy? I love expressing myself through writing and sharing my ideas with others. Then I started working full time plus. Yikes. This blog is sad. I'm trying to decide on a schedule I can work on to blog once a week or so. 

- Get good at knitting: I don't really count being able to knit/purl in a straight line being good at knitting. My problem is I can't commit enough time to actually finish a complicated project. I want to get good enough to be able to spit out headbands and hats within 2 months of starting. You'd think that wouldn't be too much to ask of myself. 

- Work out every day. Sigh. 

What I would do if resources (and time) weren't an option:
- Go to school full time and finish my MEd within a year and a half. I pushed past the fear of failure, denial and monetary security by applying to graduate school last summer. Much to my surprise, I got in. I'm slowly working toward a degree while working 50-60 hours a week, so I'm pretty sure the next 33 credits are going to take me 33 years to earn. But, right now, this is my only option. It's still good to dream, right? 

- Start an arts initiative program in the lower income areas of Rhode Island. I would love to have a program that allows kids to come and learn about art, music, and drama on a weekly basis. Art is being cut out of schools but research shows that it is a huge part of a child's development and helps with the other areas of a child's education.

- Start an orphan care/adoption ministry in Rhode Island. This is something I've wanted to do for a while but have been waiting for time and resources. I'd love to start an orphan care ministry that raises awareness and money for the orphans in Rhode Island, and provides resources for Christian families wanting to adopt. God is very specific about his desire for us to care for orphans. It's not a suggestion, it's a command. There are different ways to do this, and I want families in Rhode Island to have the knowledge and resources to get involved. 

What I would do if I wasn't afraid to try: 

- Sing: This is something I don't talk about a lot, but I used to sing all the time. I had four years of private training in high school and sang in both choirs and bands, as well as on my own. But then I got to college and just stopped. I've wanted to get involved with the music team at every single church I've attended since I was out of college, but I haven't. And it's not because I'm afraid to sing. Much to people's surprise, stage fright is not one of my fears. I've been singing and speaking in front of people since I was 5. It's more the fear that I'm not good enough or that I won't be needed or wanted. And then there is this idea that if I tell someone I can and want to sing, I will look prideful. I'm slowly learning that it's ok to be good at things. God gave us all unique strengths and weaknesses and we should use those strengths for His glory. How can I use this passion I've always had to point to Him? This is something I'm working through. 

- Open an online store. Well, if you didn't notice already, I've officially started this. I actually began the process in June. I secured a store name, set up a Facebook page, and designed business cards. But then I stopped. Because of fear. Fear that no one would want to buy anything that is mine. That my work isn't good enough to sell. That I would spend money on start up costs and then lose that money with a failed attempt. Just like my fear of applying to grad school, I had to talk myself into just TRYING. If it's something I want to do, forget the fears and just go for it! And if it fails,  OH WELL. Move on to the next dream. But if I never try, I will always be wondering "What if..." And that stinks. So over the holiday break, I decided I wasn't going to let fear keep me from trying new things and reaching my goals. Thus, I'm spending all my extra time working on Paper Waves Designs, and loving almost every minute of it. 

So now I need to make goals for this year. By writing out these lists, I can see what I want to spend my time doing, or what I NEED to spend my time doing. So how am I going to get there? What will 2014 bring? I am still figuring out my new year goals, but I will post them when I do. 

What are your goals for this year? Are there any ideas or plans you've been afraid to try? Maybe it's time! 


Brickley says hi. 

No comments:

Post a Comment